A binge worthy short story as told by Kevin B. Watkins at 2:15 AM EST on Friday mornin', September 14, 2007 after downing a Smirnoffs Wild Cherry Cooler

 

You never know what you’ll be confronted with from day to day……..that’s life….however, there seem to be some things that you just shouldn’t be confronted with in life….ever!…which brings me to re-introducing you to Baltimore City’s own Ghetto Shoppers Food Warehouse, on Liberty Avenue, the same one that’s across the street from the "Greater Mt. Bethel Sovereign Evangelistic Baptist Church and Chicken" under direction of Pastor/Reverend/Chef Leroy LaFontaine Williams III.

​

Ok, so the entrance to the store is on one end of the sidewalk, the exit is on the other end of the block. Why the entrance and exit doors can’t be on BOTH ends of the store is still a mystery to me that I have not the mental energy to invest into finding the reasons why. Anywho………you get into the store, look around for a basket and realize that they’re outside the store, attached to a chain that’s just long enough for you to push the basket into the store and throughout the entire store, but NOT long enough for you to push to your car. (you do the mental image on that one) I’ll help you out; the parking lot is across the street and shared by the good folks who attend Reverend/Pastor/Chef LaFontaine Williams III’s church. Ok, so I do my shoppin’ thing, getting my food for the Monday Night football game party I’ll later host. I find the chips on Aisle 4, but the dip is on Aisle 8!! At least I don’t have to go to Aisle 14 for the cookies because someone decided while on Aisle 14 that they couldn’t afford Chips-A-Hoy Chocolate Cookies and so they conveniently “hid” them on Aisle 14 between the Oatmeal Granola Bars and the Scope Mouthwash. So, I scoop up the cookies and now start to make my way to the Express Aisle to Aisle 22 in search of the Smirnoff’s Coolers. “Express Aisle” you say?? Yep!! Cause Aisles 16-21 are the haircare and Black Peoples magazines aisles. I didn’t know POC’s (People Of Color) had soooo many magazines. So I take the “Express Aisle” to Aisle 22 (the express aisle is reserved for people who are shopping by themselves, without a second or third party accompanying them, and the limit is one hand-held basket per